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Wine: the ‘Bullshit Production’

Watch from minute 7:20 of this clip for comedy description of wine.

I love McIntyre’s joke about the ‘Bullshit Production’ – taking roles in this whole pretence when consuming wine at restaurants. Yes, I also look at the wine menu with not a clue other than: white, red, less expensive, bloody-expensive.

Have you noticed this is a highly gendered sequence of events, and is also very hierarchical?

First the head of the table -assumed by the waiter- is asked to ‘try’ the wine: -no-one else- just him on behalf of the rest of the party – the head of the table is determined as basically the oldest or richest-looking man at the table. Once tasted, the wine is then poured into the glasses of all the women at the table, followed by the men. Weird huh?

Its like some sort of matcho system harking back to the days when women did not get out of cars, the doors were opened for them first, and men did the jobs that required daring or smarts……

There are also some other wonderful rituals I’ve come across which I will quickly touch upon:

Tequila Shots

Lick the skin between your thumb and forefinger (so the next part sticks), pour on salt, lick salt off, quickly down shot, followed even quicker by a tandem of crinkled, squirming facial expression and sucking on a lemon wedge.

Generally undertaken at the very same moment as all your friends, and perhaps a few people who you didn’t know until half an hour ago.

Give it another half an hour of this and you’ll not know who you are or where you’re stumbling to…..

Table etiquette for dinner parties

Port is passed to the Left. Everyone who’s watched Titanic should know that! 😛


Ooooh peer pressure, you only got more influential since my school days…… rounds are the basis for people feeling as though they must buy all people in the group a drink at the bar, and this must go on till the last person has bought a round.

Opt out and you look cheap.

Opt in and you may end up getting pretty drunk if you’re anything like me and can’t consume that much alcohol in one night!

Benefits: the group stays intact for longer – avoiding half the group queuing all night at the busy crowded bar. Group cohesion.

The better option, that I see mostly these days -when you go to the bar you ask around and get the people who are finishing theirs, rather than timing it to buy all a drink simultaneously. This is better because then its less about group policies, and more about getting a friend -or two- a pint, knowing you might get a pint from them in return tonight, or maybe just next time you see them -its much more informal and less pressured 🙂

Can you think of any other rituals in drinking?

Next post: a little something on packaging and the plethora of glassware surrounding drink…….